Just had a little scare…silly really

I went into the bedroom to get changed, looked over at Max and couldn’t hear him breathing (he’s usually snoring away)… put my hand on his chest and wasn’t *quite* sure if I could feel him breathing.

Oh my god I’ve never been so freaked out. He’s fine, was just in a profound sleep. I’ll be prodding and poking him all night now to make sure he’s ok! Still… it makes you think.

I’ve got that horrible pit-of-you-stomach feeling cause I can’t shake the crazy imagination I have that has me thinking”what if that had happened, how differently you would be acting right now….”

Once again I end up blogging very late into the night (for me at least!), and I should so be in bed by now… I’m doing the night feeds with the idea that I’m having a lie in tomorrow – we shall see if I get that with two kids and J up and about…*sigh*

I had initially been going to ask for him to do the night feeds so I had a night off, but then I figured there’s not much point in that when I’d have to batter J to get him to wake up ( a lucky man who can sleep through anything!).

Then I end up having to get up for a loo break or whatever anyway, and can’t get back to sleep because of all the snuffling, etc. that Max gets up to. So I might as well just get up and do these feeds in the vain hope that I’ll get my catch-up tomorrow morning…

I’m in two minds whether to make up a bottle for the Lil’ guy now in an attempt to ‘dreamfeed’ him, or whether to just go to bed and see when he wakes.

Ooh and check out Veronica’s blog

she’s got a great site there, and is one of the first bloggy-friends I’ve made 🙂

Sleep Deprivation

Oh. My. god. I’m just too tired to think correctly let alone type – it’s just as well there’s a spell checker on this thing. It’s 9 pm, and as soon as Max has settled to sleep in his cot, I’ll be going to bed myself.

It times like this I wonder how I ever thought I had a clue as to what being truly exhausted meant before having children of my own. I feel like I should apologize to any mums that I attempted to justify my tiredness to before becoming a mother myself. I can fully appreciate why people who can’t sleep are driven completely insane; I’m almost there myself at the moment!

*Just a couple more months and he’ll be sleeping through.* This is my mantra… If i didn’t keep repeating this to myself when I try to put the kettle in the fridge and the milk on the kettle’s hub (yes it did happen this morning…again), or wonder how Zack can have grown so much not to fit into a vest to find that it’s actually his little brother’s, or even when I called a spork a cross between a fork and a knife as opposed to a fork and a spoon…

I’m sure all of these blips are because of my sheer tiredness building up from the past five weeks and four days (5 days if you count the fact that I was in labor the night before M was born!). They can’t possibly just be my complete stupidity getting worse… can they? [J’s reading this over my shoulder and laughed at the above comment… he stopped when I asked if he wanted to be on night feeds for the next week /sigh…men have no idea!]

I hope Max is a good boy for me tonight and sleeps well… I am dreading the thought of having to be awake for so much of the night when I could be having my precious sleep.

Ahh, bliss… he’s fallen asleep which means soon I can too )